Just What's on My Mind

Recently I have been so consumed with thinking that I have come to a point where I can't even write about one main subject. So many thoughts swirling in my brain and now I am struggling with the means to express them. My goal today is to write a little about everything that is on my mind, to get it out there and on paper (so to say) so I can get it off my brain and come back to it when I have a clear mind. This is very impromptu so let's see where it takes me:

Boys (of course it is the first thing on my mind)-Oh men, how you can be so confusing, one second you act interested and the next you are onto the next piece of pretty ass in the room. When she leaves you are right back and get mad when I am hurt and want to leave because you don't want it to be over. Yet you tell me one day that I come on to strong and the next that I don't show enough affection. You tell me that after almost 3 month of seeing each other there are no real feelings there and you just like hanging out yet you get hurt and upset if I talk about other guys or don't want to hang out. Then you tell me you really are looking for that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with but it is not me and then when I bring it up when you say the same thing to me a month later you say that it could be? Reader, I am sure you can probably tell that I am talking about a real person and situation and yes, this is what I deal with on a weekly basis. Days will go by and everything is fine and then one night after a couple 30 packs are gone between 6-8 friends things turn sour. Why does it have to be a roller coaster?

Work- I have been contemplating getting a second job so that I can make a little more money and get out of the house but the last thing I want to become is a workaholic and have no time for my friends or family. It's not not really about the money for the need of a second place of employment more then a way to get out of the house and meet new people since I work from home, hence all the thinking that I do. I think I will look this evening to see what is out there and we will see where that takes me.

Health- The next couple month coming up will be hard on me for the pocket book and for my body when it comes to tests and procedures. One of the luxuries of being a woman is you get to do this thing called and "Annual" where they pry you open and scrap your lady insides and check you out. Well September happens to be that month for me that I get to experience this every year. While visiting my doctor a couple month ago I mentioned that my appointment was coming up and I needed to schedule it. I initially went in to change my form of birth control and she mentioned placing me with an IUD. Over the last couple months I have been thinking about this option and have decided it is something that I want to do. That is also something that will be happening this month and I hear that it is not pleasant. Next up, Gardasil shot series. I am almost too old to be able to have the shots but have about another year to take it. If you haven't heard what Gardasil is visit http://www.gardasil.com/ for more information. Every woman ages 12-26 should get vaccinated. Ok lets see what's next....Ah yes, Cat Scan. So to catch many of you up to speed last year around this time of the year I felt like I had a heart attack while travelling for work. I was scared and frightened and in pain. I was flown back home by my company and then went into the hospital for a series of tests. One thing they ended up doing is a Cat Scan that came back clean except for some Bulla's (Cyst type growths) http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/bulla on the lower left part of my heart. They advised me to have them checked in a year to see if they have gone away so that brings us to this month to get them checked out. I hope and pray that they are no longer there and it is not something more series. And lastly, my followup from my GERD diagnosis from a year ago. My new doctor would like to do a biopsy to see the severity of the damage and see if we need to alter my medication. I am hoping that the medication that I have taken over the past year has helped with my condition and that I am on the road to recover. To also learn more about GERD visit http://www.gerd.com/consumer/gerd.aspx for more information. So as you can tell I am not looking forward to spending the next month being probed, scanned and shot, not a fun thing at all.

Family- I have to say that I have been neglecting spending time with my family. I live no more then 5 miles away from them and don't even see them on a weekly basis except for the brother who lives with me. I feel very bad for this and need to make a conscious effort to make time in each week to spend with each one of them. They are bright, fun, loving siblings (well almost all of them) and I am sure that I could learn a thing or two from their knowledge and their willing to share it with the world. I think I am going to start that today. I will have them over for the evening and play scrabble. We all really love that game together.

Friends- Recently I have been trying to hang out as much as I can with my friends. I catch myself double booking things and then having to cancel with both parties. I need to focus on a more structured way of communication with my friends that I don't see on a regular basis. When I don't I forget that I plan things and then I never show up. I owe two very good friends an apology for this last weekend. It was crazy and hectic and that is no excuse so please accept my apology for not making it to our arrangements. I promise I will make it up to you. You both know who you are.

Living Arrangements- Faris and I will be welcoming my other brother here from Saudi Arabia at the end of this month. I am so excited to see him and at the same time I am stressed as well. Fawaz will be moving in with us and we currently only have a 2 bedroom condo. I need to get the ball rolling on trying to buy a house with three bedrooms so that we can live comfortably together. This situation has been a major cause of stress for me and I am looking forward to the day where I wont have to deal with it anymore.

After just reading through my blog just a moment ago I realized it is time to call this post quits. I have elaborated on many things in my life and have given myself material for future posts that I am sure you will enjoy. As for now I have freed my mind for more thoughts to come in. There is already one that is new and fresh on my mind. What do you think of a blog about my life growing up and how I got to where I was today from me as a child? It would be very sad in the beginning but I think that it would be good therapy not only for me but for others. I'll ponder on that for a few days but until then, keep reading.